Letters to A Grieving Lady

The following exerpts are an attempt to offer some comfort and insight into the inevitable loss we all experience as a part of life. It does not pretend to be the last word on the subject. With permission they are shared to extend hope to others.

...Our hearts are saddened to hear the news of your brother's passing.  I want to encourage you in these times of grieving when you wish so desperately that you could have done more to minister to his faith.  

There's no end to that kind of thinking and the enemy just wants to get you down.

You did the most important thing - you were there for him.  Visiting and sharing love.  Praying for him. 

God is in control, not us. God loves him even more than you and He is faithful. Your brother is in His loving arms.  You didn't do anything wrong.  You ministered in love.  

Jesus said when we visit the sick in their time of need it is as though we were doing it unto Him.   

God bless you in this difficult time.  May He be your comfort.  

Rev. Kenton J. Kutney

Hi Ken:

Thank you so much for the encouraging words and to be so thoughtful.

I am ruminating over my last visit with my brother. It was the evening before he died at 6:15 a.m. the next day.  He was sleeping and I went over to him but I couldn't get any words out... I didn't want to wake him or upset him so i said nothing.  Then I talked to his daughter outside his room and we went back in to say good nite and "we will see u tomorrow." My saying nothing might have made a difference in him being saved or not - this is what I'm wondering. I wish I knew that I will see him again in Heaven.

Thanks Ken for listening. 

Hi. I've been thinking about your situation and I've tried to put it in the larger perspective. 

Picturing it for myself and my neighbors and my family (even thinking about strangers that cross my path) does their salvation depend on me having that special conversation with each and everyone of them? Should I have done it yesterday?!

Maybe to some extent there are divine opportunities that God brings into our path where we ought to speak up, but God has many ways of working in a person's life besides you or me.  For one, I believe in ministering angels.  I could give many examples from real life to show how creative God is in drawing people to conversion - I was recently at a baptism class and each one had a unique story in coming to faith. 

Each person's journey is unique - but the main point I want to underscore is that we cannot save anyone. That is God's job, not ours. And He is very good at it. 

He especially works through the Holy Spirit to convict and woo the spirit of a person.  Words aren't even needed.  Spirit to spirit.   We are speaking of mysteries that are bigger than we can comprehend. (Sometimes we are privileged to play a small role. But for sure it doesn't all come down to my carefully chosen words.) 

Time itself isn't an issue. This is a bit philosophical, but God is outside of time. He is eternal.  He created time. So, in the closing moments of our life here on earth, even in a coma, there is no telling what God doesn't do, all the time needed in Now, to replay all the events in our life, the moments, the bits of knowledge and information recalled -- the very offer of the life-gift of salvation in Christ, I believe, is made crystal clear to each person who is given the choice to accept His offer of grace.  It is all laid out by a loving God. Your many prayers have neither gone unheard nor unanswered. 

Hi. Thanks for your kind words. Your thoughts and perspective on my inaction not to ask my brother if he believed in Christ has made me feel a bit relieved, thank you and hopeful that he did receive Christ before he passed on. I wish there was a way of knowing to put my mind at ease (unease? I pray not). I am curious about ministering angels and am going to read about them!

 Thank you for taking the time to put my mind at ease and helping me see another side to this story.

 You are such a blessing to everyone and I am so thankful that you were our Pastor! May God bless you and your family indeed!

Hello.  While there is much speculation there's not actually as much about angels as we'd like to  know, I'm sure.  We know they are God's messengers and are powerful to war against evil; they exist to do God's bidding and will.  They are a created being made to worship God around his throne - a beautiful picture. They also serve as protection, watching over us. Something we take for granted too easily when things go right. 

The Bible mentions them over 200x - far more than demons which are fallen angels. Although they are spirits in is written in the book of Hebrews that sometimes they appear in human form as strangers to help us.  We are not alone. :)

I sent you a link to a sermon by Billy Graham about angels.  Careful what you read because there is a lot of made up nonsense out there too.  God is our main focus, and that of the angels as well!

Ken

Thanks Ken.

I am enjoying Billy Graham's sermon you sent - thank you!  

Do you believe in Healing Rooms? Do you believe one can learn how to heal through Christ or is there nothing to "learn."

Hi. When I hear of healing rooms, frankly I get very cautious.  Not because I don't believe God can perform miracles in His infinite wisdom.  It's just that there aren't any tricks to healing.  People offering how-to's in miracles are reaching for shortcuts in life's trials and often just end up leaving those who are desperately suffering in further confusion and disappointment. 

Prayer is not about manipulating God, nor should we treat Him as a giant vending machine in the sky. 

The essential prayer is our cry for 'Help!' and in following Jesus' words we humbly offer, 'Thy will be done.' 

God knows our needs before we can utter them. Prayer is about spiritual conversation and our text is the Bible.  We pray answering the God who speaks (primarily through Scripture) to us.  

I would recommend any of Eugene Peterson's books on prayer and spirituality.  He goes deep and yet is warmly pastoral in his writing. 

Those are a few of my thots. I do hope they are of some help.  May each day greet you with God's grace and a little more light to find your way. 

In sincere Christian love,

Ken & Joy