A Blue Christmas?

"As soon as I saw it I knew I had to write this."

My wife and I used to perform this song for Christmas parties, me doing my worst Elvis impersonation and Joy doing her doo-wops. In retrospect, I don’t know if I could sing that song at this stage of my life with the same hilarity. Some times in life are very blue.

I for one don’t believe in flukey coincidence; too often in my life things co-incide (Latin: ‘fall in together’) with a real connection I only sometimes later see -- like dominos triggering a series or pattern. 

I was given my favorite coffee-caramel candy at a Christmas party and today I went to stash some of it inside my leather motorbike jacket which was hung away until the riding season. Inside a zipper pocket I never knew was there before, I felt some paper. At first I thought maybe it was my lost drivers license; but it was actually the pocket of a completely different leather jacket underneath on the same hanger, and inside I found a folded up bulletin from a funeral service for a beautiful person... precisely 7 years ago. I vividly recall the crowded auditorium where a community gathered around the family, bewildered with grief. A therapist who really helped me (and countless others) had unexpectedly died. There was such a hole in our hearts. 

As soon as I saw it I knew I had to write this. I just need to say it bc someone needs to hear this -- hold on. You are not alone in your struggle. It is the human condition. Don’t give up. Give it just one more day. ...Then one more. Why? 

Because tomorrow can be better, and it’s yours to discover. The sepia toned wedding photo on the back of the memorial bulletin was only possible bc a dream for the future came into the present. Wait for it. Serendipity is another word for unearned grace. 

I read a thoughtful reference inside about, "...those people that just can’t help making a difference in our lives by simply being who they are. They make the world a little brighter, a little warmer, a little gentler, and when they’re gone you realize how lucky we were to have known them."

YOU are that person. Loved. Needed. Cherished. Making a difference to people. Whatever you are going through now will lead to some new purpose. And then there was this advice: "When you are lonely and sick of heart go to the friends you know, bury your sorrows in doing good."

Reading this last line in the bulletin, my thoughts turned to my cousin whose life was cut short just two decades in: "If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane, I’d walk right up to heaven and bring you home again."

Whoever this is for... I’m sending out a prayer for you. There is Hope. Have Faith. And Love.