Editorial: The Value of Hurtful Conflict (Part 1)
'The Value of Hurtful Conflict'
The value of what? I don't mind saying it took a psychologist to unpack
that phrase for me.
It sounds paradoxical to suggest that conflict could be of any value (especially when you are on the receiving end of the pain)! And yet, when John Radford, Ph.D. Organizational Psych., explained that statistically one's performance improvement is directly correlated with increasing one's capacity for conflict, I was intrigued.
We all have first hand experience, I imagine, with the negatives that can
ensue from conflict; maybe that's why instinctively we either turn away from
it or get louder in order to win faster. But what would happen if we stayed
in the conflict a little longer ... just slowed things down a bit?
Is there anything positive that could result? Well, clearly there might be some things we'd have to unlearn as we confront our reality. That's not a bad thing.
First, unlearning takes as much of a commitment as learning does: I
remember some years ago when I finally signed up for a guitar lesson after
having plucked away at it on my own. I spent the whole session realizing
what had to be unlearned (all the way back to how I even held the darned
thing) before I could begin to think about making music.
Secondly, facing the reality of our situation is crucial to personal
development. It takes courage to confront reality - the willingness to
discover aspects of myself, good and bad, in the process results in
psychological maturity to work through conflict, as well as feeling
confident and empowered to cope with difficulties by dealing directly with
them.
Some staying power could dramatically increase what you can learn about
what's going on around you, and in you. That's important because, remember,
take you into new areas of conflict! It's all about how much you are ready
to grow.
So where do you want to go in life? Where are you now? It could be that
the answer to what's holding you back lies in how you are dealing with
conflict.
Not only that, but how you handle conflict could also be the very
key to unlocking your potential for growth. I know, it's not quick or
easy - but how much in life that's worthwhile is?
Conflict. It's worth thinking about.
Rev. Kenton J. Kutney
The value of what? I don't mind saying it took a psychologist to unpack
that phrase for me.
It sounds paradoxical to suggest that conflict could be of any value (especially when you are on the receiving end of the pain)! And yet, when John Radford, Ph.D. Organizational Psych., explained that statistically one's performance improvement is directly correlated with increasing one's capacity for conflict, I was intrigued.
We all have first hand experience, I imagine, with the negatives that can
ensue from conflict; maybe that's why instinctively we either turn away from
it or get louder in order to win faster. But what would happen if we stayed
in the conflict a little longer ... just slowed things down a bit?
Is there anything positive that could result? Well, clearly there might be some things we'd have to unlearn as we confront our reality. That's not a bad thing.
First, unlearning takes as much of a commitment as learning does: I
remember some years ago when I finally signed up for a guitar lesson after
having plucked away at it on my own. I spent the whole session realizing
what had to be unlearned (all the way back to how I even held the darned
thing) before I could begin to think about making music.
Secondly, facing the reality of our situation is crucial to personal
development. It takes courage to confront reality - the willingness to
discover aspects of myself, good and bad, in the process results in
psychological maturity to work through conflict, as well as feeling
confident and empowered to cope with difficulties by dealing directly with
them.
Some staying power could dramatically increase what you can learn about
what's going on around you, and in you. That's important because, remember,
the capacity for gaining value from differences will increase yourAnd that cycle of continued improvement will undoubtedly
performance level.
take you into new areas of conflict! It's all about how much you are ready
to grow.
So where do you want to go in life? Where are you now? It could be that
the answer to what's holding you back lies in how you are dealing with
conflict.
Not only that, but how you handle conflict could also be the very
key to unlocking your potential for growth. I know, it's not quick or
easy - but how much in life that's worthwhile is?
Conflict. It's worth thinking about.
Rev. Kenton J. Kutney
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